BDub as I see it you have a kind of "good news" , "bad news" deal
The good news is if your' wife's tax liability amounts to $30K a year I would infer she makes a decent living - and since your posting indicates your more than happy with her as a wife and mother you've got kind of a Triple Crown winner - good drafting on your part - and on your first selection.
The bad news is when you combine your tax liability plus property tax your household has one "ouch" sized tax bill. If you look at your prime earning years you guys will drop a million in the collective bucket.
I know you are not entirely pleased with how our government spends your money but you handle it much better than I do - or maybe it's that whiskey drinking. Either way kudos to you.