Random Thoughts Again

sameoldlama
Posts: 624
Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:43 am

Re: Random Thoughts Again

Postby sameoldlama » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:07 pm

I mean spending your days in NYC for work and being fat, drunk and horny has to be better than overscheduled, sweaty and aggravated.

Just think how awesome hosting career day at your gym will be.
Wendall : That's very linear Sheriff
Ed Tom : Age will flatten a man Wendall

Blue&White
Posts: 2396
Joined: Sat Aug 12, 2017 10:01 am

Re: Random Thoughts Again

Postby Blue&White » Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:16 pm

You don't need to keep selling it. You had me at "topless women serving beer and cookies".
Alex Cora sucks. Mickey Callaway sucks. Baseball sucks. Everything and everyone just sucks. Is it football season yet?

Blue&White
Posts: 2396
Joined: Sat Aug 12, 2017 10:01 am

Re: Random Thoughts Again

Postby Blue&White » Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:22 pm

So, my oldest son has a bunch of friends. Some of them are nice kids but a few of them are morons. Anyway, he had a bunch of them in his car earlier this evening and they were driving back to our house. There was a little Indian girl out on the street riding a scooter. Her mom was in on the front yard watching. My son slows down as he approaches her to make sure she's safe. One of his moron friends roles down the window and screams "niglet!" at this little girl. The mother comes running over. My son was shocked and very embarrassed.

My son then pulled into a driveway, turned the car around, and while the big mouth was yelling "what are you doing?!" went back to the house and apologized to the mother and said how sorry he was and how embarrassed he was. Meanwhile, the moron starts rolling down the window to say something else. My son looks at him, yells at him to stop and shut up, and uses the driver control to roll the window back up. He finishes apologizing to mom and starts to drive away. Another moron friend rolls down the window and yells "Later!".

Mom has now had enough. She takes a picture of the license plate and calls the police and reports the story. The cops take the car, run the plate, pull up my name and address off the registration, and then go and access the school computer system to see if they can find a match. And, sure enough, they find my son. And a contact number - my wife's cell phone. While this is going home, the loud mouth friend who yelled the racist crap to the little girl decides he is going to leave (presumably because the other kids in my house were giving him a hard time - including the one friend who is Indian!). So, my son drops him off, comes home to find my wife on the phone with the police, who have requested my son's and a parent present at the police station. So, my son kicks everyone out and mom takes him to the police station.

So, my wife takes son to the cop house and the cop says my son is not in trouble and the woman who called pointed out that he was very apologetic and embarrassed by the whole thing and that he turned around and came back, but she didn't appreciate her daughter being yelled at with a slur while she was on her scooter. The cop then proceeds to tell my son that he's technically responsible for the people in his car and that yelling at people is a pretty stupid thing to do because people be nuts, and you never know who's going to come out shooting. He then asks my son if he's willing to give the name of the kid who yelled. My son gives it right up. Not because he was scared or felt pressured but because he thought there should be a consequence for what his friend did. When he came home I told him he can blame mom for telling if he wants but he said "no, I will tell him I told the cops and why".

I am furious this happened. I am unbelievably embarrassed it happened in my car. But, I am beyond proud of my son at how he handled the entire thing. One thing I have always told my sons is that usually in life, the hardest thing to do is the right thing. He did the right thing and it may cost him some grief with his friends. And, he didn't care. He didn't want a crutch to hide behind. He was more than ready to stand up and say "yes, I did this because it was right and screw you did you don't like it". He's 17 and on his way to become a man I can really be proud of.

2 post scripts:

PS1 - the kid who says this is in my house all the time. Next time my wife sees him, she is going to pull him aside and rip him a new asshole.

PS2 - the cop was a bigot too. He told my wife that "Indians are too sensitive" and not to worry about it. A little girl was out on her scooter in front of her house and some asshole drove past and yelled a racial slur at her. How is this mother too sensitive? It was all my wife could do to not go off on this cop. What a jackass. The cop pulled my son's school records, saw he was a good student and complimented him and my wife on how he handled the whole thing - and then slurs the mom. My wife decided there was no upside in telling him off, grabbed my son and left.
Alex Cora sucks. Mickey Callaway sucks. Baseball sucks. Everything and everyone just sucks. Is it football season yet?

LioninVa
Posts: 583
Joined: Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:49 am

Re: Random Thoughts Again

Postby LioninVa » Fri Jul 13, 2018 6:15 am

Good for your son. And you and your wife as well. While some say the Apple never falls far from the tree, I believe that the that perception is because the parents have a large role in the makeup of their children that goes way beyond the genetic combination. How you act everyday and what you teach them is crucial to them becoming good people. Or not, in many cases. It seems you guys did it right and you should be proud!

Blue&White
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Joined: Sat Aug 12, 2017 10:01 am

Re: Random Thoughts Again

Postby Blue&White » Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:14 am

Thanks, but I am honestly hestitant to take too much credit. My wife and I have done our best to teach our kids right from wrong and that you treat everyone with respect. But, I have 2 sons and my younger son doesn't get it as much as his brother does. Where as one kid is always polite and respectful, the school has complained to myw ife and I that his brother has been rude to his teachers (something we have discussed with him frequently and I think he's finally starting to get it after mom almost killed him a few weeks ago).

I really think that some large percentage of parenting is just luck. You do the best you can, you try to lead by example, and some kids are going to be screw ups despite your best efforts. And, sometimes awful people will have great kids. It just works out that way at times.

But, I am really proud of him for this whole thing. A few years ago he couldn't handle any confrontation. He's still not a fan of them (most people aren't) but he is willing to stand up for himself and what he thinks is right. That takes a lot of nerve and I know a lot of adults who won't or can't do it.
Alex Cora sucks. Mickey Callaway sucks. Baseball sucks. Everything and everyone just sucks. Is it football season yet?

psu_dad
Posts: 1623
Joined: Sun Aug 13, 2017 6:59 pm

Re: Random Thoughts Again

Postby psu_dad » Fri Jul 13, 2018 8:39 am

I really think that some large percentage of parenting is just luck.

A certain percentage of life in general is luck. I absolutely believe that people who strive to lead a good life are much more likely to be successful than people who go through life with their heads up their ass. But there is a random element to life as well. I've seen some pretty bad things happen to people who deserved better.

And this trickles down to parenting as well. You do your best and cross your fingers.
Fire Alex Cora. (On hold pending further review)

Crowbar
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Joined: Sun Aug 27, 2017 12:54 pm

Re: Random Thoughts Again

Postby Crowbar » Fri Jul 13, 2018 11:13 am

Yelling slurs at a little girl??? How courageous of him. Not that it matters to your son, but IMHO he absolutely did the right thing. You should be damn proud.
41-33.

sameoldlama
Posts: 624
Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:43 am

Re: Random Thoughts Again

Postby sameoldlama » Fri Jul 13, 2018 1:28 pm

There is being loyal to your friends and then there is getting set on fire because your friend does something so inexplicably dumb it defies human reasoning.

Yelling a racial slur at a child has zero defense on the stupidity scale - what is the supposed win there? If this "friend" thinks your son shouldn't have given him up then your son should type out apology cards to hand out whenever he is around this dude. Just wait til the kid starts drinking (is the kid who got into your whiskey cabinet?).

I can understand covering for a friend who may have done something wrong (cheated in school because he was worried about flunking for example) because there was something to gain - not saying it's right but sometimes someone finds themselves in trouble and is afraid to take the hard road out - but what was to be gained?

Kudos to your son for learning not to misplace loyalty at an early age - I had to break up a lot of potential fights and convince a lot of bouncers not to call cops before I shed some friends with very poor impulse control.
Wendall : That's very linear Sheriff
Ed Tom : Age will flatten a man Wendall

Blue&White
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Re: Random Thoughts Again

Postby Blue&White » Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:09 pm

Just wait til the kid starts drinking (is the kid who got into your whiskey cabinet?).

No, that was another kid, and he has not been back in my house since that incident.

As for what happened, it's indefensible. I'm just glad my son was willing to stand up to the whole thing. As for the kid who said it, I wasn't a huge fane to begin with but my opinion of him dropped dramatically. I think my son is getting ready to drop him, too.
Alex Cora sucks. Mickey Callaway sucks. Baseball sucks. Everything and everyone just sucks. Is it football season yet?

sameoldlama
Posts: 624
Joined: Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:43 am

Re: Random Thoughts Again

Postby sameoldlama » Fri Jul 13, 2018 2:16 pm

FWIW he will be saving himself a lot of headaches in the future if he distances himself from this guy now - and my guess is those headaches are only going to get bigger.

Until all his friends drop him or he gets punched in the face this guy probably won't get it. If he had any sense of shame he would have gotten out the car and apologized when your son was taking responsibility for what he did. If his Dad has any sense he drags that kid over to that house and makes him apologize to the girl and her parents. That will save him a lot of headaches in the future.
Wendall : That's very linear Sheriff
Ed Tom : Age will flatten a man Wendall